Young Rebellion
by writingowl
Summary: What if the first time Sergeant Benson and Sergeant Voight met wasn't actually the first one? What if there's history between these two? What happened nearly forty years ago?


"Hank, this is Olivia Benson." Erin said as she introduced her boss to the head of the New York team.

His mouth dropped as he turned around and stood face to face with SVU's Sergeant. "Olivia," he whispered as he shook her hand, "it's nice to see you again."

"It's been a long time." She didn't know what to say because she had never expected to see him again.

"You two know each other?" Lindsay said raising her eyebrows at Voight.

"Our paths have crossed before."

His voice made the memories from their past gallop into her mind. Not even in her wildest dreams had she imagined seeing Hank Voight standing in front of her after so many years. Their last time together had been a goodbye, a pleasure meeting you and hope your life goes well. They had been together at the right time and trusted each other because they knew their lives would inevitably good different ways…how wrong they had been.

 _[their past]_

She was sitting on the edge of the window late at night when she saw a shadow climbing the fire-escape stairs from the next-door building. It was the third time that week in which she had seen that boy sneak back in. Olivia wondered who he was, where he was coming back from, who he was hiding from, what he was hiding. She knew his family had moved in nearly a month ago and she had seen him at school but she didn't know his name. As he closed the window, he saw her from across the building and he smiled at her.

"I've seen you sitting there every night," he said as he opened the window and sat on the railing.

"I've seen you sneaking back in a couple of times."

"And you didn't tell on me?"

"Why would I? I don't even know you."

"Hank Voight but you can call me Hank." He leaned forward reaching the edge of her window; luckily, the buildings weren't far from each other.

"Olivia Benson."

"It's nice to meet you, Olivia." Hank sat on the edge of her window as he lit up a cigarette. "Smoke?"

She shook her head no. "But go ahead."

"Well thank you." He laughed as he took the first drag of his cigarette. "Have I seen you around school?"

"I know I have." Olivia hugged her legs against her chest creating distance between them. "But you probably haven't."

"Lunchtime. Sitting against the wall to the left of the basketball team reading a book. Correct?"

Olivia felt her cheeks going red as she nodded.

 _[their present]_

They were sitting across from each other at the bar table. Their eyes kept meeting but neither of them had the courage to speak. So many things could be said and so many things were better left unsaid. A mix of hurt and joy could be felt around them, the tension growing between both sergeants. Voight knew exactly what he would like to say but something in him told him it wasn't the right thing to do. Little did he know that was everything Olivia needed to hear so.

"I can't believe you are here, Henry." Olivia Benson was the only person who called him by his name.

"Feels weird, right? I never thought our work would cross our paths again."

"You followed your dad's steps."

Voight took a sip of his scotch before speaking, "haven't reached his greatness."

"I have no doubt you will one day."

"Thank you. Do you mind if we step outside?"

"Smoking time."

"You know me." He stood up and reached for her hand. "Did you quit it?"

"Only smoke when I'm stressed...happens a lot." She laughed grabbing his hand. "Not as much as you, though."

"I don't smoke as much as I used to." Voight squeezed her hand slightly. "There's nothing like smoking while seating on the edge of your window."

"Those were good nights."

 _[their past]_

Olivia leaned against her locker as she waited for Voight to get out of class. They had been dating for almost four months and she still couldn't believe it. She had always been a loner, the kind of girl who was invisible at school; the nerdy girl no one ever took into consideration. But everything had changed after meeting Hank. When they started talking, she learned he had been watching her –something no one ever did– and surprisingly understood her. Since that night on the window edge, they had been spending every moment they had in each other's company.

"Hey you." He walked over and kissed her cheek. "Are you ready to get out of here?"

"I am." Olivia said with a shy smile.

Voight took her hand in his and led her to the parking lot where his old clunker was parked. His parents called him a rebel and, even though he loved them, it was hard to handle them. That's why he had spent every minute away from his house since they had moved from Chicago. He missed his city and his friends; hated this new city in which no one liked him. Or so he had thought until he met Olivia Benson. She had changed his thoughts and had made him fall in love with New York. Maybe even made him fall in love with her but he couldn't admit that.

"I still don't know how you've convinced me to be driven around in this old thing."

"Olivia," he smirked at her from the driver's seat, "I thought we had already established the outside doesn't matter. And this car looks pretty damn good on the inside."

"Excuses, Henry. Excuses."

"It still drives your ass around."

 _[their present]_

His body was resting against the bar wall as he slowly smoked his cigarette. He thought he was dreaming. That he was a young reckless boy smoking with the girl he loved. Voight handed the cigarette to Olivia and watched her take a drag; it reminded him of the first time he had seen her smoke. That horrible habit he had imposed on her, according to her mother. Well, Serena was a strong believer that Hank Voight was a terrible influence on her daughter. And he believed she wasn't the mother Olivia deserved. So many times he had comforted Benson after a terrible fight with her mother.

"Do you still drive old cars?"

"I have an old one in my garage but I drive a Cadillac now."

"When did you get so fancy?"

"Oh no, Benson. Don't get me wrong. I drive a fancy car but I'm still the same rebel boy you met."

"That heart hasn't changed then."

"My heart is still the same. Still loves the same way."

"Henry."

She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to know about his heart or his love. She had closed that door ages ago when he went back to Chicago. Just a few soft words would kick the door down and allow her feelings to roam around; she didn't need nor wanted that to happen. Once, a long time ago, she had put her heart in his hands and he had taken care of it until it was time to go. She understood why he had left but that didn't mean it hurt any less. He had loved her but he had also broken her heart.

 _[their past]_

He could hear Serena's voice even through the window glass; she was drunk…again. She was yelling about Olivia being late to the dinner table –she had been doing her homework– and her words were slurry. Hank wanted to kick the door down and help Olivia because he knew how that night would end. But he knew that wasn't what she wanted. She had repeatedly told him she could handle it and, no matter what, he should never interfere. Voight felt helpless and couldn't understand why she put up with so much crap. Yes, Serena was her mother but she didn't deserve to be treated that way.

"I'll kill her. I swear I'll kill her one day." He growled as he cleaned the blood that was running down Olivia's cheek. "You don't need stitches."

"It's nothing, Henry." She kissed his hand and bit her lip not to scream in pain; she was sure she had broken ribs. "And you won't."

"Don't say it's nothing. Damn it, Olivia! I am getting tired of her using you as a punching bag."

"She had a long day. That's all."

"Stop making up excuses on her behalf. One day she will end up really hurting you and no excuse will ever be good enough."

"I can handle it."

They were cuddling on his bed; she had sneaked in an hour after her fight with Serena. She had a cut on her left eyebrow and she knew a couple of ribs had been broken. Olivia wasn't afraid of her mom and was used to the constant fights and punches. She could handle it but she had come to understand those fights hurt Hank more than herself. That's why she would sneak into his bedroom on those terrible nights and let him take care of her, because it made him feel like somehow he could still protect her.

"You shouldn't have to." He had his arms wrapped around her body and held her close to him. "You don't deserve it, no one does."

"It's the life that was given to me, Henry." She looked up at him and kissed his lips carefully. "Luckily, you are a part of it now."

 _[their present]_

They were walking through Central Park when he understood he had never stopped loving her. Olivia Benson had been his first love and he had never forgotten her. Yes, he had gotten married and loved his wife until the day she died. But that didn't mean his love for her was gone. There were days in which memories from their time together would randomly hit him. Memories of things they had done together. Things they had said to each other. Things they had promised to do together but sadly never did.

"Did you make it to Italy?" Voight asked as they sat on the bench at the park.

"Not yet. Maybe one day I'll get to take my son."

"I'm really happy for you and your son, Olivia. You grew up to be an amazing woman and probably just as amazing as a mother."

"Are you trying to ask if I grew up to be my mother?"

"I know you didn't. No need to ask."

"She wasn't such a terrible woman." She saw him roll his eyes and knew he would never believe her. "I know she could treat me wrongly but she still loved me. And no, I'm not making up excuses on her behalf. It's just that now that I know the whole story I understand her. I've forgiven her."

"Then I guess I'll have to forgive her for all the pain she put you through."

 _[their past]_

It was a Sunday afternoon and they were in his bed. His parents had gone out so he invited her over. Another fight between Serena and her had happened the previous night so he wanted to make sure she was okay. But more than that had happened. An innocent make out session on his bed had led to more and they had sex. Or like old people used to say, Olivia Benson lost her virginity to Hank Voight that afternoon.

"You were my first." Olivia whispered as he traced her skin with the tip of his fingers.

"Was it okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No," she pressed her lips against his, "you didn't. You made me feel loved, Henry."

"That's because I love you."

Olivia did feel loved in that moment. He had been a perfect gentleman and took care of her. He kissed the right places, made the correct movements and allowed pleasure to take over. She had been scared but the moment she felt his skin on hers all the fears disappeared. She loved him and hoped their teenage love would be more than just that.

 _[their present]_

She couldn't stop the memories in her mind. A week after their afternoon together, Hank had to leave New York. His mother was dying and his father wanted her to spend her last days in the city they loved. Voight said goodbye, whispered I love you and they never saw each other again.

"I was pregnant."

"What?"

"When you left New York. I found out a few weeks after you left. I tried to get in touch with you but didn't seem to find you."

"What happened to the baby?"

"She died a week after I gave birth to her."

"Olivia." He pulled her into him and held her in a tight embrace. "I wish you hadn't gone through all that on your own."

"It wasn't your fault, Henry." She looked into his eyes before kissing him. "It just wasn't meant to be."

He coughed to push the tears away and clear his throat. "I never stopped loving you, Olivia. And I'm truly sorry our baby didn't make it."

"I've always loved you, Voight."


End file.
